I'm sure that none of them believed me so go show them that I'm not a liar."Then my wife Julie chimed in, "You should go Dave. It would give you closure on some of the things that you have carried around in your head for so long."I didn't really want to do it, but between Ben and Julie they finally wore me down and got me to agree to go. The three of us made plans to make the two hundred-mile drive and then at the last minute Ben's company sent him out of town on business. As Julie and I drove I thought back to my high school years and remembered how much I had hated them. I was the classic example of the kid that everybody liked to pick on. Glasses, a little pudgy, not interested in sports, grade A student, in short, I was what everybody called a nerd. I was the butt of practical jokes and girls laughed at me when I asked them for dates. The only friends I had were my fellow nerds and of course Ben. In general, the whole period from sixth to twelfth grade sucked.Things changed for. I won't go into it all here. There's not enough timeand everybody who's been there knows what those expectations are.By the time I was twelve things had reached breaking point.Several suicide attempts and numerous appearances before thejuvenile courts, had finally precipitated me into a 'big-city'children's psychiatric unit. There in a final act of terminaldesperation, I had tried to castrate myself in some forlorn hopeof preventing the onset of puberty and my acquiring those malecharacteristics I so detested. The castration was only partlysuccessful. Being a coward at heart, I had used a dangerous slowstrangulation of my testicles technique that had almost causedgangrene and nearly killed me.I lost one testicle but the doctors managed to 'save' the other.It was only then that I was finally forced revealed my innermostsecret wish to become a proper girl in a proper girl's body.The psychiatrist had already anticipated my condition but he hadwaited until my crazy desperate act had.
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